Hello C Kelly, thanks for your reflections. I think it is good that you are reading. In terms of gaslighting, I would say perhaps the effects of what you have learned feel like being gaslit. I wouldn't say causing someone to examine something they are unaware of is gaslighting. If that were true, therapists and psychologists are gaslighting. Gaslighting is the idea of manipulating someone and controlling them. Teachers would be gaslighters if we only take it to mean causing enough mental discomfort to bring out a change or a paradigm shift in a student. In any event, I do believe that the more white people interact with people of color, it becomes less important if they are saying something wrong, offending someone, knowing enough. The relationship is key. This goes with any relationship. We all should be caring about others enough to consider whether what we don't know or know could hurt them, or whether we have done something without awareness. This is the same with any friend or family member. When there are racial differences and cultural differences, the gaps could be wider to breach, and of course add in the historical aspects and there is a lot of repair to do.