I completely understand. I wrote an article about how sometimes explaining racism and the hurt I felt to white people is like engaging with an abusive relationship. People expect you to "hear the other side" and go through pain to "preserve the relationship." I call it, "staying for the kids" which people look down on, but when it comes to racism, many people expect people of color to "stay in it for the children" or in other words, an inauthentic peace.