Very well said. There are times for calling out, and times for calling in. If we have a friendship with someone, it might be worth calling in. We need more people in the movement to end these problems. That´s the short answer. I recently took a class called Calling in the calling out culture, and it shows how the calling out culture is grounded in punishment and isolation, and reifies white supremacist responses. Of course, we can never know exactly when a calling out is needed, usually calling outs are when you have no other choice. I´m glad you shared your personal experiences. We are all someone´s "problematic ally" as the class said.